


Unworthy

by itbeajen



Series: 30 Days with Raha [28]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Insecurities, Tension, Tumblr: FFXIVwrite2020, Unnamed Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), established relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26706256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbeajen/pseuds/itbeajen
Summary: You shed blood no matter where you go, could you truly deserve peace?
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Reader, G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Series: 30 Days with Raha [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906222
Kudos: 18
Collections: #FFxivWrite2020 Final Fantasy 30 Day Writing Challenge





	Unworthy

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #28 for FFXIV Write 2020  
> Irenic /aɪˈrɛn ɪk/  
> Adjective  
> tending to promote peace or reconciliation; peaceful or conciliatory

Every time there was any political banter or disagreement, you were nearly always the first person that was sent out to handle it. Now, of course, Alphinaud would go with you, but for some reason or another you too have become a political figure. A political figure who was expected to act like all those other fussy people do, but you were a  _ Warrior. _ You were the type of person you sent to the front lines of battle, not to some formal banquet to discuss how a treaty and union should work. 

It was absolutely exhausting to have to be polite and civil at all costs. You weren’t too sure how Alphinaud did it, but to be frank, you couldn’t wait til this day was over so you could go back home. As much as you enjoyed wearing fancier clothes and feasting on cuisines you often don’t get to, it wasn’t enjoyable when you were here for business purposes. 

You heaved an inaudible sigh. It was inevitable though, there was nothing else you could possibly do in this situation. You were a part of the reason as to why they were liberated to begin with. But you weren’t a politician, and honestly, all of these banquets were slowly draining you.

“Are you alright?” Alphinaud glanced up to you in concern. He could see the exhaustion in your eyes, but as soon as he asked if you were okay, he could see how quickly you masked it. The smile on your face looked perfectly normal, yet even he could see the strain it took to perfect such a mask. He frowned and furrowed his brows, “Really [Name], you could take today off and allow me to handle this.”

“I know, but…” you glanced around the room, and even if no one approached you, there were so many eyes on you still. Every single move and action you made was being noted and it bothered him so much that he could do nothing about it. Alphinaud sighed and gently offered you his arm, “‘I may not be able to whisk you away from this dredge of the political side of society, but at the very least, I may offer you company so that no unsavory fellows will approach you.”

There is a small smile on his face and you can’t help but feel like the young Elezen has truly grown up nicely. You take his offer and while he did have to drag you through various politicians, it was much easier having Alphinaud around to speak on your behalf.

***

You groaned as you stepped through the doorway to your house. You unceremoniously drop everything and as soon as you do, you hear the pitter patter of feet coming up the stairs. G’raha shows up, his disheveled hair popping out from around the corner, and while he looked sleepy and dazed in the beginning, as soon as he saw you, his entire face lit up with a smile.

“[Name]! You’re home,” he approached you with arms held open and you ran up to him. You tightly hugged him and he embraced you tightly. He gently patted your head and sleepily asked, “Tired?”

“Mhm. I’m just… so tired of having to act like a peacemaker or something,” you sighed into his shirt and mumbled, “I’m not that great with words and I’m not that good with words and it’s not my thing. If Alphinaud wasn’t there, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have been able to attain the peace that the Gyr Abanians were striving for. As much as I want to strive for peace, I can’t help but feel like I can’t contribute in any way besides beating up and crushing the invaders.”

“But you’re doing your best, aren’t you?”

“I.. am, I just wish I was better able to bring about peace besides bloodshed.”

G’raha could feel your hands tighten and he softly patted your head and pulled you in by the waist. 

“You’re already doing your best, and sometimes… sometimes there is no other method to bring peace beyond bloodshed,” G’raha felt you pull away and he let you. You met his gaze and you softly asked, “I’m just hoping I’m doing the right thing… I can’t help but wonder if all I’m good for is bloodshed. I… The missions given to me are always to eliminate the enemy, to protect our people, but.. I am taking away the lives of those on the opposing side. And while it isn’t fair to them I feel like… I have no other choice.”

“Sometimes you don’t,” G’raha firmly stated. His tone was firm, yet his gaze was gentle. He knew how much you struggled to come to terms with the reality that you lived in. After all, while you were lauded as a hero in certain areas, in others you were a murderer. The person who single-handedly destroyed the livelihood of the opposing faction. Sure, maybe it wasn’t completely you, but you had no choice if you wanted to survive as well. 

“But know this, [Name],” G’raha gently brought his hand up to cup your cheek. “If it were not for you, none of us would be here. You are the reason why we avoided the disaster known as the 8th Umbral Calamity, the future where your life had prematurely been extinguished. You are the reason why Gyr Abanians can return home, why the Garleans did not destroy Eorzea with the Ultima weapon. If it weren’t for you… many of us would not be here. And while your hands may be tainted with the blood of your enemies, you have also saved so many lives, and brought peace to Eorzea, even if it may be fleeting. So please… please do not allow those thoughts to consume you. It is alright to feel guilty, for you know how important one person’s life is.”

He leaned in to nuzzle his nose against yours and he whispered, “I admire you, and I love you to the heavens and back. Even if you think you are unworthy of the peace that you had fought so hard for, and even if you think that you did not do the right choice, I will be here to support you.”

“But what if I’m  _ wrong _ ? What if my choice  **isn’t** the right choice? What then?” 

He hears your voice crack and he pulls you in as close as possible. His hand had dropped from your cheek and swiftly wrapped around you, pulling you tight to him. 

“Then we will fix it. Even if the solution seems out of sight and far away, I’ll stay by your side,” he paused to give you a brief kiss on the temple and he softly continued, “For you deserve to be happy.”


End file.
